A job interview. Two men, nothing but talk, and a great deal going wrong underneath it. I like poems that can be spoken by someone who isn’t me – this one is almost entirely other people’s voices.
Carl’s Job
‘We need you to cope with all the little jobs,’ smiled Carl. ‘We want to make sure you target single losers, too.’ ‘Sure,’ I laughed. ‘I was very sad to hear about Verna.’ ‘How the hell do you know about my wife?’ asked Carl.
‘I was the one who ran over her that time,’ I replied. ‘You mean that time at Hennessy’s; the time she died?’ said Carl. ‘Right,’ I said. ‘The time she died; running off of the verge. She kept her left leg twisting. It was a little strange.’ I smiled.
‘What the hell do you want with me?’ asked Carl. ‘I’ve come to apply.’ I said. ‘I want to work with you now.’ ‘You want to work with me? I’m speechless. What do you want to do, kill me in a wreck, maybe?’ said Carl.
‘I’ve no further plans on killing,’ I said. ‘Those days are done.’ ‘Let me tell you, Bud,’ said Carl. ‘Those days are sitting here now.’ ‘Your daughters are safe from me,’ I said. ‘Your son, too.’ ‘How do you know about my kids?’ asked Carl. ‘What is this?’
‘There’s no risk here.’ I said. ‘No risk at all. No graves or anything.’ ‘Who mentioned graves?’ said Carl. ‘I don’t know about no graves.’ ‘This was part of my general assistance,’ I added, scraping a boot. ‘Assistance?’ said Carl. ‘Get the hell out of here, you freak.’
‘I can’t do that,’ I said. ‘To my mind, things need traversing here.’ ‘What kind of things are we talking about?’ asked Carl. ‘Once a month,’ I said. ‘I come and clean the place down. That’s it.’ ‘Just the lounge and shit? Nothing with the boys on the door?’ asked Carl.
‘Just that.’ I said. ‘Once a month. Though I want to bake, too.’ I said. ‘What kind of baking are we speaking of here?’ asked Carl. ‘I’ll turn up with some gram flour and ghee, a little chicken, some kalonji seeds and I’ll cook up fresh pakora.’ I said. ‘Every day.’
‘Forget it,’ said Carl. ‘We advertised this as a one-time loser’s job.’ ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘I am right for this. No pressure here. No acid nights.’ ‘Please,’ said Carl. ‘I can’t take this from you. I lost my wife already.’ ‘The pain’ll cease,’ I said. ‘Tomorrow I’ll begin. Let’s open up at five.’